


Stupid Husband

by troubledidiots



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Kuroo Tetsurou, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Tsukishima Kei, Pregnancy, Pregnant Tsukishima Kei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17199728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledidiots/pseuds/troubledidiots
Summary: As though daily cramping and food cravings weren't enough problems for a pregnant Kei, that stupid, oblivious husband of his just had to attract another one of those annoying homewreckers.





	Stupid Husband

The first thing Kei notices when his husband gets home is the strong smell of perfume. With a wrinkled nose, he says nothing and thinks calmly through his hormone-crazy mind. That was the first sign.

 

“Welcome back,” he greets passively and cringes when Tetsurou attacks his face with kisses.

 

“I got you shortcake!” Tetsurou tells him and entwines their hands to sit them at the couch. “How's Tetsu Junior doing?”

 

Kei greedily grabs the box and lets Tetsurou's large palms trail across his bulging belly. “He's kicking a lot,” he says as he puts a glossy strawberry to his lips.

 

Tetsurou laughs. “He'll surely be a handful once he's born.”

 

“I'll have to take care of two babies then,” Kei deadpans and lets Tetsurou whine into his shoulder.

 

The iffy fragrance was stronger than ever and with his hyper-sensitive nose, had him crinkling his nose once more. “What's that smell on you?” Kei asks, pushing Tetsurou away with one hand and covering his nose with another.

 

“Smell?” Tetsurou blinks, confused. He pulls his white dress shirt and takes a sniff, chuckles. “Must be a coworker. Sorry, babe. I'll take a shower now. Is your nose okay?”

 

Kei huffs at the question, finding it humorous and stupid at the same time. “Just go shower already,” he shoos, swatting his hands.

 

Tetsurou pouts but gets off the couch anyways. “I'll think about you in the shower,” he says. Kei doesn't know whether dramatically or pervertedly.

 

He rolls his eyes anyways and pulls that idiot husband of his down for a kiss.

 

~*~

 

The next time something happens again, Kei has an inkling that it isn't a coincidence.

 

Each time Tetsurou comes home, the perfume seems to get stronger. With what was a pungent floral scent before became an unbearable thing that Kei outright refused to look at him until he bathed.

 

So Tetsurou resorted to having showers straight home from work, because he couldn't exactly pinpoint said coworker and tell them to tune down on the perfume as Kei had suggested in a more.. mature manner.

 

And the problem arises one day, during one of said showers when Kei is lazily picking out the nuts from the chocolate bar and almost gives up to just eat the whole thing whole.

 

He curses and makes note to read the packaging label next time so he wouldn't bite into one of those unholy devil seeds on accident in the future.

 

The television was blaring on some stupid love dialogue which Kei would have been crying to if he wasn't about to from the fucking nuts in his chocolate.

 

Then out of nowhere, the phone next to the chocolate-peanuts vibrates and rings loudly, and then a couple more times and Kei hisses from the loud ringtone.

 

He picks up the phone with his chocolatey fingers to check which motherfucker is double (multiple) texting Tetsurou at this hour but before he even turns the thing on, the phone vibrates again and Kei stares blankly at the messages.

 

**Kobayashi Emi : You're so funny, Tetsu!**

**Kobayashi Emi : I wish you were my boyfriend LOL.**

**Kobayashi Emi : You should leave your wife for me ;)**

**Kobayashi Emi : Haha just kidding!**

**Kobayashi Emi : ❤❤❤**

 

Kei knows that that's probably some friendly joking, he should know. Tetsurou is friendly, after all, unlike him.

 

He blames it all on the pregnancy. Hormones were making him feel everything at once, hurt and jealousy especially.

 

Tetsurou’s phone is pushed back onto the table and he doesn't bother wiping off the chocolate stains. If he wasn't pregnant, he'd have been horrified but he is and doesn't linger on that thought.

 

His husband comes out not minutes after and falls in place next to Kei. He rests his ear on his stomach and Kei lets him.

 

“Haha, I can feel him kicking,” Tetsurou comments, rubbing the spots.

 

“Hm,” Kei hums, eyes glaring into the television where the female lead cries for her love to come back.

 

“What's wrong?” Tetsurou asks, sitting up. He looks at Kei's unhappy face and then at the chocolate mess on the table. He laughs to himself at Kei's dirty fingers. “Do you want me to buy a plain one?”

 

Kei scoffs as Tetsurou takes his hands into his mouth, sucking on the sweetness. “Tomorrow.”

 

“You're so cute, baby,” Tetsurou says, kissing from his palm to his arm.

 

He rolls his eyes. “You're so annoying,” he replies.

 

Tetsurou laughs and embraces Kei, peppering his face with kisses. “You love me.”

 

~*~

 

“He's cheating!” Tadashi gasps.

 

“He's _not._ ”

 

Tadashi narrows his eyes. “But the perfume—“

 

“His coworkers. He's surrounded by hundreds of people daily.”

 

“Then the texts—“

 

“Friendly. Bantering.” Kei says firmly.

 

“What friendly texts end with ‘I love you’?” Tadashi exclaims.

 

“It's one-sided.”

 

“She puts _heart_ emojis! Who does that to their coworkers?”

 

Kei shrugs but a part of him is agreeing with Tadashi.

 

“Okay, explain the button sewing on his shirt that time.”

 

“... His coworker offered to help because it fell out.”

 

“You're in denial. What about the cute post-its you always find laying about? Tell me it's not a coincidence that the post-it notes have hearts printed all over with an ‘I love you’ in three different languages!” Tadashi cries, frustrated by his best friend. “And what about the notes _written_ on them! _We should go out for dinner after,_ ” he repeats one of the notes Kei had told him before.

 

Kei frowns. “Tetsurou wouldn't cheat. He's too stupid to.”

 

“Stupid doesn't mean anything,” he singsongs.

 

He rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. Tetsurou's not the type.”

 

“You guys are highschool sweethearts. You've been together for so many years that he might've grown bored but,” Tadashi hums in thought, “you have a point. This all seems very one-sided. You should talk to him.”

 

“Hell no,” Kei scoffs. Even pregnant and going crazy from emotions, he still withheld his pride.

 

“Kei..” Tadashi persists. “It's not good for the baby if you keep worrying like this.”

 

“I'm not worrying,” Kei says stubbornly.

 

“Okay. Still, talk to him.”

 

He does. That night as they lay in bed, Tetsurou’s arms clinging onto him the way it reminds Kei of a koala.

 

“Tetsurou?”

 

“Yes, my beautiful, angelic Kei?”

 

Kei snorts with a smile. “Don't call me that.”

 

“As you wish, my precious queen.”

 

He rolls his eyes in amusement. “I'm not a queen.”

 

“You are to me!”

 

“You're so gross and cheesy,” Kei tells him and finds it hard to breach upon the subject now.

 

“You love me.” Tetsurou says in his neck.

 

“Hm,” he answers and pauses. “Tetsurou?”

 

“What is it?” he had his hands on Kei's stomach, touching and stroking.

 

“Who's Kobayashi Emi?” Kei asks and curses himself right after because he sounds so insecure and stupid.

 

The hands stop moving. “Emi? My coworker. Why?”

 

Kei wants to ask more, tell him to never talk to Kobayashi Emi ever again. But that was his pregnant side talking and he definitely wasn't as pathetic to do something like that.

 

Instead a, “Do you love me?” comes out surprising the both of them.

 

“What? Of course I do, Kei. What's going on?”

 

“Nothing,” he says but Tetsurou doesn't believe him.

 

“Kei, I don't know what's up with you but I love you,” his hand rubs circles on Kei’s stomach, “and our child. We'll be a happy family, won't we?”

 

“Yes,” Kei whispers.

 

Tetsurou turns his head back to kiss him on the lips. His hand edges lower.. lower.. below the bump and slips into Kei's underwear.

 

“Do you want to...?” Tetsurou asks.

 

Kei replies with a wet kiss and the rest of their night is filled with sweet lovemaking.

 

~*~

 

Kei is sure of it. After a couple more days of.. whatever it is that's continuing, Kei is finally sure.

 

Someone's picking a fight with him.

 

From the non-subtle hints of girlish items and flirty notes scattered about for him to find, there was so much his pregnant self could take.

 

So when he finds a prominent, bright red lipstick mark on one of Tetsurou's favourite work shirts as he did the laundry one day, he flips, storms right up to Tetsurou and throws the dirtied thing right at him.

 

“ _What_ is that?” Kei hisses, hormones taking over.

 

Tetsurou frowns in confusion and brings up the perfume stenched shirt. “What is what?” he asks in return.

 

“See for yourself,” Kei answers with coldly.

 

He does and finds the stain at the junction right below the collar. He sputters, stands and words come out in a fumbled fashion.

 

“Shut up,” Kei says, jealousy burning within him as he rests his folded arms on his swollen belly.

 

“Kei, baby, it's not what you think,” Tetsurou was quick to take Kei's hands in his.

 

“I know,” Kei replies. “You're too dumb to cheat.”

 

Tetsurou blinks and huffs a laugh. “I've only got eyes for you.”

 

“But you still let someone else... touch you.” He’s being unfair, he knows that but knowing doesn't stop the feeling of annoyance of some girl lusting over a married man.

 

“I didn't know about it, I swear! It must have been an accident.” Tetsurou cries, hands shaking.

 

“Whatever. Just stay away from her.” Kei orders selfishly.

 

But no matter how selfish, Tetsurou complies. “I will,” he promises, wrapping his arms around Kei.

 

“Good.” Kei answers, but he doesn't breathe a sigh of relief. Not yet.

 

~*~

 

That’s the last straw, Kei decides because enough is enough and there was no way he'd let some whore pursue his oblivious husband.

 

And of course Kei knows his dear alpha would never cheat on him but in the words of his best friend, he had to set that _homewrecking bitch_ in place.

 

It was a hot day. Kei was sweating through his clothes and it didn't help that the train was packed, for whatever reason.

 

Thankfully, some kind child gave up her seat for him and Kei would have smiled, _if_ he smiles, which he doesn't. So instead, he settles for a thank you, and nods at the child's parents who beam in pride.

 

With one hand on his belly and the other grasping the lunchbox, he sits and his aching body thanks him.

 

The ride wasn't long, thankfully. At some point, a bearded old man makes some conservative comments to him about how omegas should stay at home but he doesn't even get to finish when Kei gives him a hard stare.

 

He would like to believe that alone was what shut him up but it probably had something to do with the whole cabin shooting him dirty looks and Kei was thankful for modern society’s open-mindedness.

 

So he gets off at his stop and again with the cursed walking in this hot damn weather that leaves him perspiring before he’s five minutes in.

 

~*~

 

“There's some pregnant omega here,” Koutarou announces when he gets back to his seat.

 

“Pregnant omega...?” Keiji repeats, unsure of anything his friend says.

 

Just then, said pregnant omega storms in and looks around and Kenma almost falls when he catches sight of the blond.

 

“Ah, that's...” Kenma mutters.

 

“Whoa, who's that? He looks scary!” Shouyou pipes in.

 

“... Tetsurou's wife.” Kenma says.

 

“What!” Koutarou and Shouyou exclaims at the same time.

 

“But he looks so scary and Tetsurou always talks about how cute his wife is.. Are you sure that's him?” Shouyou asks.

 

Kenma nods and thinks back to all the times Tetsurou gushes over Kei.

 

“He's taller than I expected,” Keiji comments.

 

“Let's call him over here!” Koutarou suggests and raises his hands before Keiji can stop him. “Hey! Tetsu’s wife, over here!”

 

Kei twitches, flips his head over to where an obnoxious manchild is screaming for his attention and marches right to them with an ominous glare.

 

“What,” he says and Shouyou shrinks behind Koutarou.

 

“Kei,” Kenma greets. “Are you looking for Tetsurou?”

 

“Yes,” he answers his husband's best friend. “I've something to give him.”

 

“I think he went with Emi to get some coffee,” Keiji tells him helpfully, not missing the way his eyes darken.

 

Kei clicks his tongue and frowns deeper. “And where's that?”

 

“Down and turn right,” Keiji says and pinches Koutarou before he says anything.

 

“Thank you,” he nods to them and turns to leave.

 

“Emi's gonna die.” Kenma says indifferently to Keiji.

 

“She is,” he agrees.

 

“What! What d’you mean?” Koutarou asks.

 

“Tetsurou's wife is scary... I've never met such a scary omega.. He looks like he wants to murder us.” Shouyou mumbles to himself.

 

~*~

 

Turns out he didn't need to leave the area because right as he turned around, Tetsurou appeared with a small brunette by his side.

 

“Kei!” he yells and rushes to his side. “Babe, what're you doing here? What's wrong?”

 

“You left your lunch at home,” Kei says plainly, feeling the scrutiny from Emi.

 

“What? But you don't—“

 

“Shut up,” Kei pushes the box into his hands and Tetsurou exclaims happily, gathering him into a hug.

 

Kei doesn't push him away, doesn't mind the stares on them and instead locks eyes with the brunette behind them.

 

“You're so cute. I love you so much,” Tetsurou coos, ignorant to the expression on Emi's face with each word.

 

“Hm,” Kei replies and lets Tetsurou hold his hand.

 

“You shouldn't have came though...”

 

“You don't want me here?”

 

Tetsurou gasps. “No! It just worries me that you're going about alone. What if something happens to you or the baby?” His hands brushes against the soft maternity clothes covering Kei's round stomach.

 

“Nothing's going to happen,” Kei tells him, deciding to leave out the incident with the old man before. “I go out alone all the time.”

 

“Only to convenient stores or coffee shops!”

 

Kei snorts in annoyance. “Fine, I got it. No long distance.” He promises but only because Tetsurou was starting to annoy him.

 

“Okay, good. Come, I wanna introduce you to my friends!” Tetsurou says and laces their hands.

 

Apparently Tetsurou’s friendly enough to make friends with his coworkers. That was probably a normal thing, Kei thinks, just not for him.

 

He brings him to the four from earlier. “You already know Kenma. That's Keiji, Koutarou and Shouyou!”

 

“Hello, I'm Kei, Tetsurou's wife.” Kei says politely.

 

“Wow, your belly is so big,” Shouyou comments and Kei wants to hit that little orange thing.

 

Keiji distracts him before he does. “So, will it be a girl or a boy?”

 

“It's a boy. We're still deciding on a name so he's Tetsu Junior for now,” Tetsurou winks.

 

Kenma almost snorts in sync with Kei but before another word is uttered, Emi cuts between Kei and Tetsurou.

 

“Haha! You wouldn't want to PDA here, would you?” she says and Kei glares menacingly at her as he clasps his hand with his other. “I’m Kobayashi Emi, you’re Kei, right?”

 

He morphs his face into a forced smile when he catches sight of Tetsurou smiling like a fool. His nose twitches in distaste of the familiar heavy scent of flowers. “Nice to meet you.”

 

“So, _Kei,_ ” Emi starts with an unusual tooth-aching sweetness. “What do you work as?” Her eyes glinted devilishly and she grins like a hyena. “Or are you a housewife?” Her fingers gripped Tetsurou’s bicep and she laughs fakely. “Poor Tetsu having to burden himself.”

 

“What!” Tetsurou intercepts before Kei could. He rushes to his side like some loyal dog and reconnects their hands. “My Kei isn’t a burden,” he laughs. “And if anything, he’s the one supporting me!”

 

Kei wants to roll his eyes but instead ignores him and counters Emi with a taste of his own honeyed tone. “I’m a surgeon,” he tells her sweetly. “but for now I’m on maternity leave. Though, I don’t think I’m burdening him. I take care of his needs every night.”

 

Emi openly gapes at him and everyone around them turns about ten shades darker, excluding Shouyou who hadn’t caught on yet.

 

“Lately, there’s been a pest,” Kei says casually. “It’s annoying, like a tiny little ant biting me in the side. I hope it goes away soon or I’ll have to get rid of it like all the others.”

 

“Kei, are you okay?” Tetsurou asks and checks his face.

 

“I’m fine. Just a little tired,” he says. “I think I’ll take my leave now.”

 

“Wait! I’ll walk you out.”

 

“No need,” Kei says and nods to Tetsurou’s friends who sat there stunned.

 

“But—“

 

“Shut up,” he tells him and kisses the corner of his mouth. He didn’t have to look to feel Emi’s nervous look.

 

“Kei, I love you!” Tetsurou shouts.

 

“Ah! Ah, I’ll go back as well,” Emi says hurriedly, her face resembling a cooked crab.

 

“My Kei is so cute...” Tetsurou coos with a dreamy smile.

 

“Is he blind?” Shouyou whispers to Kenma.

 

“He’s just really stupid.”

 

~*~

 

“Kei, baby! You should bring lunch for me every—“

 

“No.”

 

“But you did today!” Tetsurou pouts.

 

“So?” Kei snorts and traces his biceps.

 

“Okay, fine, don’t,” he huffs. “I don’t want anyone looking at my beautiful mate and crushing on him anyways.”

 

Kei almost laughs at the irony of the his words and sits to straddle on his lap. “Let’s have sex.”

 

“Whaaat! Now!?” Tetsurou squawks.

 

“You don’t want to?”

 

“No! No! I do! I do!”

 

~*~

 

“Soo, did you chase away the homewrecker?”

 

Kei hums and pokes at the shortcake.

 

Tadashi laughs. “I’m gonna guess you went to his workplace, made some snarky subtle comments and left.”

 

“As usual.”

 

“Doesn’t it suck to have to chase away so many homewreckers?”

 

He shrugs. “Tetsurou’s an idiot. He doesn’t notice this sort of thing.”

 

“Man, I bet everyone imagines him to have some cute, obedient omega as a wife. No one ever expects his wife to be so scary!” Tadashi laughs even louder.

 

Kei clicks his tongue. “Shut up, Tadashi.”

 

But he smiles because he’s right. No one ever expects a monster to come from the tales of the “adorable and beautiful Kei”.

 

**Author's Note:**

> everyone's ooc, idc, i typed this on my phone in the middle of the night as i was (still am) sick bc i couldnt get it out of my brain and i didn't bother to re-read it or anything. just don't take this seriously lol, there's plotholes everywhere and i'll never write another haikyuu fanfiction. goodbye.
> 
> (to all my readers following my finder work, whoops. sorry. *winks* i wrote this instead of the new chapter. i luv ya guys mwah)
> 
> edit : also, this is like my first omegaverse fic. like ever. i'm pretty sure omegas are sort of associated with feminine stuff. whatevs, ik that addressing a male as "wife" can be pretty annoying, as well as feminizing almost everything (i might as well have written a female tsukishima erk), but, well i've noticed it in omegaverse and like, ya know. whatevs. don't take this seriously bc i was half awake and sniffling into tissues like i was on drugs when i wrote this
> 
> Edit edit : hinata's name bc ima dumb ass who spelt it wrong.


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